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And, it goes without saying (but I will anyway-or this would be a very strange statement), I will never give your personal information out to anyone. In fact, I personally take all the email addresses, transcribe them into my own secret code, write them on “this-message-will-self-destruct” paper, place them into a triple locked, lead-lined, bomb-proof case, which I then hide in my hidden vault, buried 300 feet below the ice sheets of Antarctica. The entrance of which is guarded by imported polar bears and attack penguins… Or something like that.